When divorcing a narcissist, you MUST document everything! The narcissist will use your mental health against you. Their abuse left you feeling crazy, depressed, and consumed by anxiety. They use your reaction to their abuse against you. This is especially true if you have children with the narcissist. They will paint you as the bad parent, claiming you are incapable of taking care of your own children. Not only does this make you appear unstable in court, but they may also use this narrative to justify paying as little child support as possible.
Narcissists don’t actually care about the well-being of their children. They will use the children as a way to hurt you. They thrive on power. By portraying you as the unstable parent, not only to hurt you but also reinforce the narrative they have been creating.
It is so important to document your relationship with your children. Keep a log of special activities you do with them. Document anything that shows your involvement and commitment as a parent.
It is also extremely important to save any emails and screenshots. Over time, their emails and messages may reveal patterns of abuse, control, and harassment. It’s especially helpful to document the dates and details of any communication that may be relevant to your case so that you can easily go back to them. Make them put everything in writing!!
Look into your finances. Look for any movement of money, excessive spending, hidden or undisclosed assets. They love nothing more than money and power. They believe that they are above the law and attempt to hide assets. They love to use financial abuse as a way to maintain power and control.
Know your legal rights. Look for an attorney experienced in high-conflict divorces who understands the dynamics of controlling and manipulative behavior.
Narcissists may also drag out the divorce process, knowing that legal battles can drain your finances and emotional energy. They may do this because they maintain control and a sense of power.
Divorcing a narcissist is not like any other divorce. It is emotionally and physically draining . It is important to protect yourself by documenting everything. Be strategic about what you share and protect your documentation. Never show the narcissists your cards, because you never know when you will have to use them.
