When you were with the narcissist you had a gray aura around you. You were living in someone else’s shadow. Hiding yourself just to survive. You lived in a constant state of fear. You were losing who you were. You didn’t recognize the person staring back at you. It wasn’t you. It was a broken version of the person you remembered.
When you are in an abusive relationship your cortisol levels are at an all time high. This causes inflammation in the body. This doesn’t just affect your mental health, but your physical health as well. You feel sick. You are not eating, not sleeping, and happiness feels like a distant memory. This shows up in how you look. Sad droopy eyes and all the color drained from your face. This can also show up as acne or eczema and often causes autoimmune disease. It’s like your body is literally pouring out all of the trauma for all the world to see.
But once you start to heal, your oxytocin and serotonin levels start to rise. You begin to smile, a real genuine smile. Your eyes are brighter, your skin starts to glow. Your aura became brighter. And you are finally starting to recognize the person looking back at you. You start to eat better, sleep better, you begin to feel stronger. You are finding the person you once were. You begin to understand that the problem was never you. It was them and their shit.
The path to healing is a long and scary journey, but it’s a journey that you always deserved.
